My name is Scott Mowbray. Though in my younger years, I grew up in a Christian home and as a family we attended church often, I never understood the full spectrum of what it meant to be a Christian. One of the things I enjoyed the most was the community time. Seeing my friends, playing with them and seeing the adults interact with one another. It always felt warm and fuzzy. The love was definitely present, and even at a young age, I remembered the feeling, it felt right. When I reached around the age of 12 I had pretty much decided to stop going to church altogether. My mother and step father had separated, there was turmoil in the family, and the last thing my mom wanted to do was argue with me about having to go to church. I was too rebellious and a real handful. I already had all the answers and was ready to go out into the world alone feeling fully equipped with what little knowledge I had already acquired in my years about Christianity. I felt protected by a veil of righteousness, though I wasn't very righteous at all, I felt I had paid my "dues" and was now a Christian. But there was something missing in my life and I couldn't figure it out, it felt like an emptiness in my heart. I tried to fill this void with other things as the years went on, like alcohol and drugs, but they only seemed to make my life worse. I even contemplated and tried suicide on a couple of occasions. Obviously if I really wanted to end my life, I wouldn't be here talking to you today. It was always just a cry for help, a cry of frustration. I was giving up.
Looking back on my life now, I realize that from the moment I said goodbye to the church, and following the word of God and His teachings, I was never truly happy. I was on a downward spiral. Having said that, I can think of many times and experiences in my life when I was at my lowest point yet I still prayed. I recall prayer as being only a last resort for me but I also remember my prayers getting answered for the most part. I can also recall miracles which I believe were the true works of the Father. These miracles are too profound to explain, whereby capturing the impact that they had on me at the time, for others to understand them the way I did. However, I would continue in my sinful ways like an ungrateful wretch when things got better again. How quick we are to forget. How quick we neglect to give thanks to answered prayer when we are young, stubborn and naive. Not only when we are young. How quick we are to stumble and are too proud to ask for help. How often I took things for granted. So often, too often.
Jumping ahead in time, I started on that downward spiral again. I started reflecting a lot more on my life when things were getting rough because I realized things were serious. I knew I was going to either end up killing myself slowly, or perhaps at any moment which I wasn't ready for and I knew it. I felt like I was never going to be happy again. I was lonely, I was depressed, I began alienating myself from social and family life. The answer was always in the back of my mind and in the bottom of my heart and that's where I kept it suppressed. I had to make a choice, die not ready, which I knew was the wrong answer because I was afraid of hell whatever hell was, or I could turn my life around. Hand my life back over to Christ and fully give Him the reins.
I made the choice. It seemed to come easy because I knew it was the only choice. I decided to make an effort to stop dwelling in my sinful ways and put all my efforts into becoming a better Christian. I decided to return to the church. I was finally starting to realize what a Christian was and not just on an intellectual level this time, but on a spiritual one. I started praying often. I bought a fancy leather bound bible of the old KJV version, the version that I grew up with, and started reading it daily in the morning and before going to bed at night. Before long, I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in me. I could feel His overwhelming love for me and I was finally comfortable letting Christ into my life and accepting him into my heart. I can't believe it took me so long to realize what I had been missing in my life all along. God always loved me, but I was just too stubborn to accept it and realize it fully. I hadn't turned my life around enough to receive the full benefits of His love. When I turned my life around and gave Him my full attention and submission, commitment and devotion, everything else followed naturally. My life did a full 360. The relationship with my family and social life improved drastically, I was feeling happy inside and no longer depressed, I felt content and loved, I was at peace, I was able to treat others with much more love and respect, everything seemed to fall into place. Financial situations, work situations and my loneliness was all taken care of. Our Father was rewarding me and I knew it. If I could pick one of the biggest regrets in my life it would be that I didn't turn my life over to Christ much earlier.
I've been going back to the church diligently and rarely missed a service for well over a year now. I feed my soul as often as I can with spiritual gatherings, prayer, devotional and bible readings, obeying Christ and following His teachings as best I can. I try to love others as He has always loved us and shown us how to love since the beginning of creation. I BELIEVE, and finally fully understand, how Jesus Christ paid the price for our sins and bought us out of eternal damnation with his blood. I understand how God our Father came to earth in the form of man, Jesus Christ His son, so that we would be able to comprehend the Holy Spirit. I have grown to learn and understand about the Holy Trinity and that God the Father, Jesus Christ his son and the Holy Spirit are all in one and one cannot be without the other. This is one of the most important things I have ever learned. I believe with all my heart that Jesus was an example of how we are all supposed to treat each other, love each other, and how we should live out our lives in order to bring glory to our Father God and gain a place in his glorious Kingdom. I know that Christ is in me as the Holy Spirit. As the Spirit, He is available to everyone and will enter anyone who believes into Him. Romans 8:10 says, and if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.
Being baptized is being born again into Christ. It is an act of obedience symbolizing the believer's faith in a crucified, buried, and risen Saviour, the believer's death to sin, the burial of the old life, and the resurrection to walk in the newness of life in Christ Jesus. It is a testimony to the believer's faith in the final resurrection of the dead. Baptism is an ordinance of the Lord by which those who have repented and come to faith express their union with Christ in His death and resurrection, by being immersed in water in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. It is a sign of belonging to the new people of God, the true Israel, and an emblem of burial and cleansing, signifying death to the old life of unbelief, and purification from the pollution of sin.